Let’s talk about sax, baby

Perusing the music channels this evening one thing struck me.

Not since the eighties has there been so many songs utilising the saxophone.

But now songs by two of the biggest selling pop femme fatales – Lady Gaga and Katy Perry – feature the brass instrument previously consigned to the annals of history.

Now only the hardened Celebricat fan will know this but this kitty has a history with the sax.

It would be by far the longest stretch in the imagination to say I played it but I did indeed wield one in the school orchestra.

What I am about to write next will no doubt shock Celebricat’s old music teacher to the core. I could never play the blimming thing.

In fact, I am pretty sure I was only in the school orchestra to get in out of the cold and because my friends were (what kind of sick peer pressure would allow that).

So out of all the instruments I could have chosen, I chose the sax. Mainly because it had a strap and meant I could still sit in orchestra eating my hula hoops without having to put the blimming thing down and draw attention to myself.

Squeezed in between the two people who could actually play saxophones I would pretend that my reed needed attention, try the spit valve – seriously school orchestras were pretty grim – but I never once attempted to ruin a perfectly reasonable Chattanooga Choo Choo by putting the said instrument to its proper use.

It didn’t take long for me to realise that actually sitting in an orchestra not playing an instrument was lame and I left my burgeoning career as a saxophonist behind me.

But where has this blatant disregard for the saxophone left me? I can tell you where it hasn’t left me and that is starring in a pop promo with Lady Gaga or Katy Perry.

Damn.

Catch some Katy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlyXNRrsk4A

Get some Gaga: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeWBS0JBNzQ

C x

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You have no new messages

Yowzers. Has it really been that long cat fans? Almost a month since I put paw to keyboard and sent my musings on the celeb world flying around the blogosphere.

Apologies.

Fear not, I haven’t been tied up in any scandals, plots or phone hacking but a bit of sun and a little growing kitten has meant less time in the sandbox.

So, all this phone hacking then. What do you make of it all? Started with celebs’ phones and I think most people were thinking that’s bad but hey ho they get paid a fair whack and have to expect something like that to happen. Then it was politicians…then a missing and eventually murdered child..then possibly the victims of 7/7 and now? Well it seems that it is a never ending and disturbing list of people.

The ironic thing? The go to people for opinions and sound bites on all this seem to be Hugh Grant and Steve Coogan. Two people who the tabloid newspapers have built up with salacious stories are now the two people helping to knock the empire down.

But what about those of us who like a bit of celeb gossip? Many of us are scurrying back under the rocks we came from claiming that we never really liked it and DEFINITELY DID NOT BUY THE NEWS OF THE WORLD.

Well, I’ll be honest. I didn’t but the NOTW regularly but if it was there I read it. I looked for the front page if I was in a shop and would go on the website to find out which celeb/footballer was caught philandering this week.

So are we all to blame for this getting out of hand? And what will it mean for celebrity gossip in the future?

Stay tuned Celebricat fans because this topic is going to roll on and on…

C x

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In the P!nk

Scratching around the sandbox this morning, Celebricat happened upon a lovely story in the Daily Tail (shocking).

Hurrah for Pink.

The poptress was papped out and about in Santa Monica with her husband and new baby daughter Willow all looking beautiful and happy and healthy.

Check it out here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2004098/Pink-motherhood-My-life-whiskey-tears-tears-poop.html

And what was refreshing to see was that she isn’t hiding away with an army of personal trainers and dieticians before heading on to the beach in a two piece with flat abs making all of us non-celebs feel like sh!t for daring to be a few pounds heavier after having a kitten or two.

She’s enjoying life as a mum.

Now the Daily Tail is often guilty of running these stories of mums back in their size 0s a few weeks after they’ve had the sprog.

So good to see them showing pics of a celeb who is doing something different – being normal.

Miaow for now x

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Check the small print

Celebricat has been thinking.

During all the super injunction hoo-ha a lot of people were saying that if a celebrity trades on their ‘family man’ (or woman) image then they should be exposed if they are acting in a way that is anything but.

The footballer at the centre of these accusations, Ryan Giggs, has now been unmasked and boy have we found out more than we probably needed to know about his family relations.

Sat in my sandbox watching the television box I struck upon an idea. I am sure if you pay close enough attention to the beauty adverts you may have noticed the small print which usually says something like ‘enhanced in post production’ or ‘model is wearing lash inserts’.

What if a similar clause was flashed up on screen when one of these cheeky love rats tried to flog us razors, clothing, fragrances or the like using their family image.

Imagine it. On the screen is images of said celeb frolicking gaily with their ‘children’ on a beach or in a park or with their partner kissing and cuddling while underneath in tiny writing is ‘Product will not make you or your partner stay faithful. *addnameoffamousloverat* has two mistresses as well as a love child he makes secret payments to.’

Hmm. Maybe not. Maybe that would just defeat the object of getting a super injunction.

Ah well, just a thought.

C x

PS. Sorry if cat fans thought I had been taking a cat nap. A busy half term has meant I hadn’t got my claws into the keyboard until now. I am one bad kitty, I apologise.

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Cole to be kind…..

Waking up in the sandbox to the early morning mewings of my baby kitten I switched on that beacon of high value journalism that is Daybreak.

One story dominated the guests sat on the sofa. Cheryl Cole apparently cut from the judging panel of US X Factor. Indignation, hurt, sympathy were all displayed by the sofa sitters at the news that the “nation’s sweetheart” was apparently shown the door due to her accent.

Now Celebricat may not be into conspiracy theories but let me tell you this readers. X Factor is an entertainment show.

I can’t believe a few little things so here is my list of why I think this may be more about publicity and less about authenticity.

1) Simon Cowell loves Cheryl. Need I say more?

2) The studio bosses would have screen tested Chezza to within an inch of her life. We heard rumours of problems with her accent way before she was officially announced as a judge so why is it not a problem and then is a problem again? Especially when other UK Syco shows have had Americans as judges who have struggled with contestants’ accents.

3) Promotion. In one fell swoop they have created a buzz about the UK show and the US show. People over here will want to see Cheryl axed on the US show and people in the US will no doubt be reading rumours that Cheryl will be returning to the UK edition too and may well tune in for that.

4) We have seen this before. Judges brought in then dumped. Louis taken off the X Factor then suddenly returned, Brian Friedman became a judge on 2007 X Factor and then was booted off to become creative director.

5) The UK X Factor. After viewing figures dropped on Britain’s Got Talent after the departure of Cowell, they needed some kind of buzz around UK X Factor to maintain viewers. Whether she returns or not is another matter but if I was a betting cat…

And finally 6) Promotion. And back to my point that this is an entertainment show.

Let me hear your thoughts dans le comment box….

C x

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Eurovision. We Blue it…

All Rise!

This weekend saw the return of the prestigious Eurovision competition during which the final qualifying 25 countries pit their biggest singing talents against one another in an attempt to be crowned the winner with a song voted the best among member states.

This year, Moldova gave Eurovision a song which best surmised the respect it deserves.

Men in big black gnome hats, performing something which wouldn’t have been out of place on a children’s television show while a grown woman dressed as a fairy played a long trumpet thing and rode a unicycle.

Yes, Eurovision 2011 staged in Dusseldorf was a big, wonderful camp affair.

And talking of wonderfully camp, we sent the boys from Blue to represent us with the song I Can.

Unfortunately I Can was in fact I Can’t as the foursome failed to reach the top spot and suffered a second humiliation when they were beaten by those troublesome twins Jedward. Yikes.

Still 100 points is pretty amazing given the fact that most years we seem to barely make it above 20.

In the run up we were all told that Blue are ‘big in Europe’. That should have been WERE big in Europe seeing as the boys split in 2005.

Even some of Britain’s youngsters may have been left scratching their heads (Kids – think of The Wanted, fast forward ten years and add a member who keeps spouting crap about aliens and dates girls who send him nakee pics on MySpace).

The boys took it seriously and despite a bit of a wobble at the start they performed I Can with some gusto – even Celbricat had her paws up high, swaying to the music, shouting ‘I Can’.

And as we rattled through 43 countries’ worth of results, my little kitten heart began to drop as an early award of a 12 and an eight put us at the top of the table where we slowly, slowly dropped to end up in 11th place.

But what for next year? Well, around 12.7 million people tuned in to Eurovision from Britain at its peak showing renewed interest in the show while Twitter was awash with people fervently commenting on the show.

We need to build on Blue’s success and aim high. Maybe with one of Britain’s bigger more established acts.

But for now giant black cone hats off to Azerbaijan who won this year’s competition with a song Celebricat can no longer remember and let’s hope the UK can bring the Eurovision to its shores soon.

Sagolun! (That’s goodbye in Azerbaijan – well, according to Google)

x

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Hat’s off to Beatrice

It may have been a couple of weeks ago now but the Royal Wedding is still making headlines.

Forget the dress, the ceremony and Pippa Middleton’s bum there is something bigger making the news in the Daily Tail today.

So big in fact it nearly eclipsed the wedding. Literally.

For surely those sat behind Beatrice could only have had a view of her ridiculous, massive hat.

Except for the person sat directly behind who would have had a view of the wedding taking place in what resembled a bizarre Victorian photograph frame.

Even the television cameras couldn’t stop focusing on it as the nation, neigh, the world wondered ‘What the f*** is that?!’

The Valentino Couture head wear in question wasn’t even a particularly nice colour. Celebricat is having trouble finding the words to describe the hue of the hat which was somewhere between beige and pink.

Aside from the colour, the design of the hat was awful – a sort of giant oval topped with an enlarged bow. Yuck.

Like the MP with the duck house in the expenses scandal, Beatrice has done the decent thing and is auctioning the monstrosity off to raise charity money for Unicef and Children in Crisis.

As Celebricat put paw to keyboard, the auction (found at ebay.co.uk/royalhat) had reached a whisker above £5,000 with nine days left.

Unlike the hat, that is not something to be sniffed at.

So what uses could the “lucky” recipient use it for?

It could lend itself as a natty picture frame or maybe used for a Lady Gaga fancy dress event. Possibly it could make a nice cake topper or some kind of dog chew toy.

Or perhaps the auction winner could do Beatrice a favour and keep it under lock and key and we’ll pretend for her sake the hat never happened.

Celebricat wants to hear your ideas for alternative uses – hit the comment box below.

C x

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